how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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