I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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