Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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