you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
