So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Oh god it's open bar.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
