try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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