i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
