im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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