I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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