I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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