the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
