You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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