I puked a lego.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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