So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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