Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????