we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts