The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can't turn off my feet"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.