So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
