spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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