my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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