I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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