we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
