I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize