I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
