Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
