I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
