she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Drunk is not a location!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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