dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Randomize
