She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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