My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
