the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
