apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
