Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
