Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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