big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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