he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize