I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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