She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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