All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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