Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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