I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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