Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize