The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
