Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
