i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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