I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize