Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I will pee on everything he values.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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