i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
