HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Randomize
