he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize