i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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