I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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