guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
