Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
