My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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