Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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