In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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