Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
