he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize