Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Your cock deserves a montage
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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