he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
