This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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