he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We talked him into tasing himself.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
