I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
