I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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